I’m not sure if my parents love me or hate me this time of year. I planted a lot of tomato plants for them and now their kitchen counter looks like this:
And a table in the garage looks like this:
And here’s a few, just a few, cherry tomatoes. I try to pick these when I’m out at their house cause they don’t like picking the little ones.
A tomato as big as a small child’s head! This variety is called ‘Opalka’. The not-quite-ripe one is how they are supposed to look. The double-sized one is just a mutant. Or maybe I pumped that one full of antibiotics and hormones. Shhhhh, don’t tell the plant-rights police or Michael Pollan. I might have even fed it CORN, the sin of all sins. Feeding a tomato CORN. What I would like know is, has anyone asked the tomatoes if they like to eat corn? Cause I’m pretty sure they do.
What was I talking about? Oh, that’s right, tomatoes. Back to the tomatoes.
Tomato ‘Striped Stuffer’
Sucks, yes, it totally sucks. Do not grow it. It actually tasted worse than a store bought tomato which I didn’t even know was possible. It is apparently an heirloom. I don’t really buy into the hype about heirloom tomatoes, heirlooms aren’t always all they are cracked up to be, sometimes they are about 100x worse than modern F1 hybrids. Sometimes they are awesome. It does have a nice cavity for stuffing and pretty stripes. This is the first time I have every grown a stuffing tomato, are they all this bad?
They do look nice with some tuna salad in them. Yummy! The tuna salad and the pickles, I mean, not the tomatoes. I think of this variety as a pretty, disposable, biodegradable bowl. I’m not sure they’d stand up to a scoop of ice cream or hot soup. Coming to a family reunion near you, any day now!
Goodnight. This snarky gardener is going to bed. I will contemplate weeding my community garden plot and strangling any worms I find. I think I need another vacation. And it is right around the corner! Yippeeeeee!